Why the Right Leader Can Change Everything
January 8, 2026
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There isn’t something wrong with you.
Those doubts you have about your skills, or whether you’re really as good as others believe, aren’t abnormal. That feeling is called imposter syndrome.
You’re not alone.
A 2023 survey of senior executives revealed that 97% had questioned their leadership abilities, and 56% do it monthly.
“56% of leaders question their leadership on a monthly basis.”
That voice of doubt? It doesn’t help you, it hurts you. It’s trying to trick you into believing something bad will happen, even when it hasn’t.
Patricia, a senior leader at an insurance company, was referred to me for coaching by HR during a major transformation project. She was the face of the change, but internally, she was unraveling.
She told me:
“I constantly tell myself I’m stupid when I make a mistake. I’ve thought many times that I shouldn’t be leading this project, it’s just too big for me.”
Her honesty and candor were refreshing. It gave me a chance to share an insight that could be the foundation for a better internal dialogue: “The words you say to yourself are the most important words you say.”
That stopped her and once she had fully processed it, I shared a powerful truth I once heard from a mentor:
“If you weren’t ready, you wouldn’t have the opportunity. And if you weren’t capable, you wouldn’t have the desire.”
Patricia didn’t just need a new project plan. She needed a new voice. Her internal dialogue wasn’t hurting her and the only way she could fix it was to become her own biggest advocate.
The words you say to yourself are the most important words you say.
I don’t typically use Biblical examples, but in a recent homily from Father Mike Schmitz, I learned something remarkable. Joseph, one of the early apostles, was nicknamed Barnabas, which means son of encouragement.
If you have someone who encourages you, don’t take them for granted. But if you don’t, be your own Barnabas.
You already have an internal critic. That voice is wired to protect you from failure. But it defaults to fear, not faith.
Which is why you must do this:
Talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself
Have you ever watched a world-class tennis player or professional golfer? If you watch closely, they are constantly talking to themselves. Because they know they have to talk to themselves, versus listen to themselves. A great way for you to do this is to flip the internal script.
You don’t erase the negative voice. You replace it.
| Doubtful Thought | Encouraging Replacement |
|---|---|
| “They’re going to find out I don’t know what I’m doing.” | “People admire my strengths and connect to my flaws. If I make a mistake, it deepens trust.” |
| “I always screw up in big moments.” | “Pressure is a privilege. Mistakes are my training ground.” |
| “I’m not smart enough to figure this out.” | “I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m relentless at solving hard problems.” |
Your job is to practice the new talk tracks so they get wired into your brain because of your training. On a coaching call this week, I told a leader struggling with doubtful thoughts, “Train your inner voice like you train your outer skills.”
“Train your inner voice like you train your outer skills.”
This shift in your inner voice won’t happen because you want it to. It will only happen because you train for it.
Life is hard, leadership is harder, and achievement never comes easy.
That’s why encouragement matters, especially from yourself.
Here’s the best part. The more you encourage yourself, the more you can encourage others.
“A candle doesn’t lose anything by lighting another candle.”
So light the first one, inside your own head.
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About the Author: John Eades is the CEO of LearnLoft and The Sales Infrastructure. He was named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices. John is also the author of Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Success. You can follow him on Instagram @johngeades.
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