Leaders, your job isn’t to be liked; it’s to be respected.
If you rely on the respect that comes from a title, it’s shallow and ineffective. If you increase respect because of your actions, it’s earned.
In my book Building the Best, I defined a leader as “Someone whose actions inspire, empower, and serve in order to elevate others.” What you must know is that elevating others is the apex of leadership.
Elevating others is the apex of leadership.
How Leaders Elevate Others
In our research to determine precisely what leaders do to elevate others, we found a common theme that weaved its way through the highest-performing CEOs, NCAA head coaches, NFL coaches, and front-line managers. They care authentically and demand clearly.
Great leaders care authentically and demand clearly.
University of North Carolina legendary coach Dean Smith said, “I was a demanding coach, but my players knew that I cared for them and that my caring didn’t stop when they graduated.” Buzz Williams, the men’s basketball coach at the University of Maryland , said, “Real love holds people accountable and helps them grow. Be the kind of teammate or leader who expects the best and supports people in achieving it.“
However, caring authentically and demanding clearly aren’t just meant for sports coaches. Research backs up the impact this healthy tension can have on a business:
- 30% Increase in Team Productivity: Leaders who balance demanding and caring approaches see a 30% increase in team productivity
- 25% Decrease in Turnover: Employee turnover rates decrease by 25% when managers are both demanding and caring
- 15% Increase in Job Satisfaction: Teams with leaders who elevate others report a 15% increase in job satisfaction
- 50% More Motivated: 60% of employees report being more motivated by a caring manager than a demanding one.
5 Leadership Styles (Which Style Are You?)
Five clear-cut leadership styles emerged in our research of over 70,000 organizational leaders. Each style is related to how effectively leaders care authentically and demand clearly. While these are current styles of leading, they are not meant to be definitive.
1. Manage
People whose current leadership style is to manage others are often leaders by title alone. They push people along instead of pulling them up. They focus more on control and how to complete tasks. Because of that, people work for them rather than follow them.
- Scores low in areas of caring and demanding
- Focuses on execution and control
- Lacks great relationships with team members
- Directs rather than coaches
- Looks at the position as one of power and authority
2. Please
People whose current leadership style is to please others are generally great people. They love people and often their company, but they expressly avoid having conflicts or difficult conversations with team members. They tend to give people too many chances and are often naive about what is happening around them. Their team members like them as people, but there is a lack of respect for them in a professional capacity. A person with this style:
- Scores high in caring, low in demanding
- Can be taken advantage of by their direct reports
- Is often passed over for promotions
- Gets stuck in low levels of organizational leadership for long periods
- Treats everyone equally regardless of talent levels
3. Rule
People whose current leadership style is to rule others take their position seriously. They value authority, respect, and rules above relationships with people. The thought of not having control or not being the centralized decision-maker makes them uncomfortable. They tend to come across as rigid or even unapproachable because of their reliance on the way things “must” be done.
- Scores high in demanding, low in caring
- Driven by a set rule book
- Typically gets good or bad results quickly
- Creates process and standards
- Has “favorite” team members
4. Support
People whose current leadership style is to support others are good and effective leaders. The most popular style, with over 47 percent of all managers from our research currently leading this way. They often have good relationships with their team members and achieve business goals.
- Leverages strong levels of caring and demanding
- The team gets good results
- Has excellent relationships with some and average to below-average relationships with others
5. Elevate
People whose current leadership style is to elevate others simultaneously use high levels of caring and demanding. They constantly exceed goals and objectives, have deep relationships with team members, and positively impact the lives of those they lead.
- Uses a healthy tension of caring and demanding
- Prioritize personal development and growth opportunities for team members
- Has deep relationships based on mutual respect
- Leads a team that consistently exceeds goals
- Helps create more leaders
- Often looked at as a mentor and role model
Before you make an assumption about your leadership style, you can find out your current style by taking the free quiz.
However, whatever your style, it’s important to note that these aren’t personality profiles. The leadership styles are meant to serve as a mirror you can hold up to see how you’re currently leading. Just because your current leadership style is to rule or elevate today doesn’t mean you’re stuck with that style for life. Leadership is a journey, not a destination. Your skills can improve or decline.
Leadership is a journey and not a destination.
Closing
There is nothing easy about leadership. Taking responsibility for things and people you can’t control is admirable. When you care authentically and demand clearly, you will earn the respect of people. And remember, your job isn’t to be liked; it’s to be respected.
When you elevate others, the respect is almost guaranteed.
Take the Free Leadership Style Quiz Join over 70k leaders and discover your current leadership style for free.
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About the Author: John Eades is the CEO of LearnLoft and The Sales Infrastructure. He was named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices. John is also the author of Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Success. You can follow him on Instagram @johngeades.